Memorable Quotes

Dale Cooper: In the grand design, women were definitely drawn from a different set of blueprints.

Jerry Horne: We had those Vikings by the horns! What happened?
Ben Horne: We're not 100% sure. They took their translator with them.

Windom Earle: The only thing Columbus discovered was that he was lost!

Pete Martell: She's dead. Wrapped in plastic.

Major Briggs: Achievement is its own reward, pride obscures it.

Dale Cooper: Major, I'm going to take a moment here. I feel the call of nature. There's nothing quite like urinating out in the open air.

Dale Cooper: [speaking into tape recorder] Diane, I'm holding in my hands a small box of chocolate bunnies.

Pete Martell: Fellas, don't drink that coffee! You'd never guess. There was a fish... *in* the percolator! Sorry...

Bobby Briggs: [asking Audrey what kind of ice cream she wants] Cup or cone?
Audrey Horne: Cone. I like to lick.

Sheriff Truman: Jelly donuts?
Dale Cooper: Harry, that goes without saying.

Gordon Cole: COOPER, YOU REMIND ME TODAY OF A SMALL MEXICAN CHI-WOW-WOW.

Catherine Packard Martell: Didn't he want to talk to me?
Pete Martell: Yeah, but we told him you were on your world tour, he should contact your press agent.

Albert Rosenfield: Now you listen to me. While I will admit to a certain cynicism, the fact is I am a naysayer and hatchetman in the fight against violence. I pride myself on taking a punch and I'll gladly take another because I choose to live my life in the company of Gandhi and King. My concerns are global. I reject absolutely pride, aggression, and retaliation. The foundation of such a method is love. I love you Sheriff Truman.

Ben Horne: We've lain a gala reception for your fair-haired boys tonight; all of Twin Peaks' best and brightest.
Jerry Horne: We're holding it in a phone booth?

Gordon Cole: [shouting as usual] YOU ARE WITNESSING A FRONT THREE-QUARTER VIEW OF TWO ADULTS SHARING A TENDER MOMENT.

Dale Cooper: Fellas, coincidence and fate figure largely in our lives.

Dale Cooper: Harry, I have no idea where this will lead us, but I have a definite feeling it will be a place both wonderful and strange.

"Mike" The One-Armed Man: Through the darkness of futures past, the magician longs to see. One chants out between two worlds: "Fire Walk With Me." We lived among the people - I think you say convenience store? We lived above it. I mean it like it is, like it sounds. My name is Mike. His name is BOB.

Albert Rosenfield: [about Sheriff Truman] Aw, look. It's trying to think.

Dale Cooper: This must be where pies go when they die.

Dale Cooper: Albert where does this attitude of yours come from?
Albert Rosenfield: I'll have to get back on you on that.
Dale Cooper: Well if you don't want two black eyes on a regular basis I would suggest you make some kind of peace with rural country life.
Albert Rosenfield: Great, after the square dance maybe we can take a hayride!

Jerry Horne: Did you say Leland Palmer's daughter is dead? Man... now I'm depressed...

Albert Rosenfield: It's a Walther PPK... That's James Bond's gun, you know.

Dale Cooper: Leo was shot, Jacques Renault was strangled, the mill burned, Pete and Shelly have smoke inhalation, Catherine and Josie are missing and Nadine is in a coma from taking sleeping pills.

Sheriff Truman: Lucy, you better bring Agent Cooper up to date.
Lucy Moran: Leo Johnson was shot, Jacques Reneau was strangled, the mill burned, Shelly and Pete got smoke inhalation, Catherine and Josie are missing, Nadine is in a coma from taking sleeping pills.
Dale Cooper: How long have I been out?

Dale Cooper: Who's the lady with the log?
Sheriff Truman: We call her the Log Lady.

The Giant: The owls are not what they seem.

The Man From another Place: She's filled with secrets. Where we're from, the birds sing a pretty song and there's always music in the air.

Albert Rosenfield: I've performed the autopsy on Jacques Renault. Stomach contents revealed - let's see, beer cans, a Maryland licence plate, half a bicycle tyre, a goat, and a small wooden puppet. Goes by the name of Pinocchio.
Dale Cooper: You're making a joke!
Albert Rosenfield: I like to think of myself as one of the happy generation.

"Mike" The One-Armed Man: Through the darkness of future pasts, the magician longs to see / One chance out between two worlds; "Fire Walk With Me".

Laura Palmer: I feel like I know her but sometimes my arms bend back...

Ronette Pulaski: Don't go there Laura! Don't go there!

Donna Hayward: This is from a long time ago, is that ok? I was about thirteen years old, fourteen maybe. We were going to the roadhouse to meet boys. They're about twenty years old. And they're nice to us. And they make us feel like we're older. Rick asks if we wanna go party and Laura says "yes," and all of a sudden I feel this knot building up in my stomach. But when Laura gets in the truck with Rick, I go anyway. A stream in the woods and when I think, it's pale and light out. Laura starts to dance around the boys. She begins to move her hips. And we take off our clothes. I know the boys are watching. Laura starts to kiss Josh and Rick. I don't know what to do, so I swim away. I feel like I want to run, but I don't. He kisses my hand and then me. I can still feel that kiss. His lips are warm and sweet. My heart jumps. He's talking but I can't hear him. It was the first time I ever fell in love.

Leland Palmer: We have to dance for Laura!

Catherine Packard Martell: You know what shenanigans are, don't you?

Dale Cooper: How's Annie? How's Annie?

Audrey Horne: I love this music. Isn't it too dreamy?

Madeleine Ferguson: Do you think I look like Laura? When we were kids I used to visit and we pretended to be sisters.

The Man From another Place: She's my cousin... but doesn't she look just like Laura Palmer?

The Man From another Place: That gum you like, it's coming back in style.

Donna Hayward: Nobody loved Laura. Just us.

Log Lady: I heard you speaking about Laura Palmer?
Dale Cooper: Yes?
Log Lady: One day my log will have something to say about this. My log saw something that night.
Dale Cooper: Really. What did it see?
Log Lady: Ask it.
[Cooper hesitates.]
Log Lady: I thought so. (walks away)

[about a dream he had of Laura Palmer]
Dale Cooper: She whispered to me who killed her
Sheriff Truman: Well, what did she say?
Dale Cooper: You know... I don't remember

[Leo Johnson is wearing the rear end of a horse costume.]
Windom Earle: Leo! It looks like you've finally found your calling!

Killer Bob: Head's up, tails up, run your scallwags. Night falls, morning calls, I'll catch you with my death bag. You may think I've gone insane, but I promise, I will kill again!

Dale Cooper: Where's Bob now?
"Mike" The One-Armed Man: In a large building with many rooms alike. But occupied by different souls night after night.

[The Giant appears before Cooper again who's asleep.]
The Giant: Sorry to wake you.
Dale Cooper: I wasn't dreaming.
The Giant: I forgot to tell you something.
Dale Cooper: You were right about the smiling bag.
The Giant: The things I tell you will not be wrong.
Dale Cooper: But, I...
The Giant: Better to listen, than to talk.
Dale Cooper: I belive you.
The Giant: Don't search for all the answers at once. A path is formed by laying one stone at a time. One person saw the third man that night. Three have seen him, yes, but not his body. Only one, known to you, ready now to talk. One more thing, you forgot something.
Dale Cooper: What?
[The Giant disappears as we see Audrey Horne's "help me" note under Cooper's bed.]

Jerry Horne: Sweetheart, I'd like to order two drinks. One double scotch on the rocks, and my brother would like a double scotch on the rocks.
Female bartender at One Eyed Jack's: That's two double scotch on the rocks.
Jerry Horne: Next step: rocket science!

Pete Martell: How do you like your coffee?
Dale Cooper: Black as the midnight without a moonlight.
Pete Martell: Pretty black.

[repeated line]
Dale Cooper: Damn good coffee!

Windom Earle: Your name, please?
Major Briggs: Garland Briggs.
Windom Earle: Garland, what do you fear most... in the world?
Major Briggs: The possibility that love is not enough.

[Lucy is watching "Invitation To Love".]
Sheriff Truman: Morning Lucy, what's going on?
Lucy Moran: Er... thanks to Jade, Jared decided not to kill himself, and he's changed his will leaving the Towers to Jade instead of Emerald, but Emerald found out about it, and now she's trying to seduce Chet to give her the new will so that she can destroy it; Montana's planning to kill Jared at midnight so the Towers will belong to Emerald and Montana, but I think she's going to double-cross him and he doesn't know it yet. Poor Chet.
Sheriff Truman: What's going on *here*?

[Ben is held in custody]
Jerry Horne: I demand you either release my client or arrest him!
Sheriff Truman: Okay. Ben Horne, I arrest you for the murder of Laura Palmer.
Benjamin Horne: Great going, Jer.

Dale Cooper: Diane, never drink coffee that has been anywhere near a fish.

Killer Bob: [about Windom Earle, to Dale Cooper] He can't take your soul. I will take his.

Gordon Cole: Acts like he's never seen a kiss before - take a look, sonny, it's gonna happen again.

Dale Cooper: Harry, I'm going to let you in on a little secret. Every day, once a day, give yourself a present. Don't plan it. Don't wait for it. Just let it happen. It could be a new shirt at the men's store, a catnap in your office chair, or two cups of good, hot black coffee.

Dale Cooper: Audrey, you're a high school girl. I'm an agent of the FBI.
Audrey Horne: So do you want me to leave or what?

Log Lady: Fire is the Devil hiding like a coward in the smoke.

Albert Rosenfield: He hit me!
Dale Cooper: Well, I'm sure he meant to do that.

Albert Rosenfield: What the hell kind of two-bit operation they running out of this treehouse, Cooper?

Dale Cooper: Diane, it struck me again earlier this morning, there are two things that continue to trouble me. And I'm speaking now not only as an agent of the Bureau but also as a human being. What really went on between Marilyn Monroe and the Kennedys and who really pulled the trigger on JFK?

Albert Rosenfield: I have seen some slip-shod backwater burgs, but this place takes the cake.

Deputy Tommy 'Hawk' Hill: One woman can make you fly like an eagle, another can give you the strength of a lion, but only one in the Cycle Of Life can fill your heart with wonder and the wisdom that you have known a singular joy.

Big Ed Hurley: It's not the first time, it won't be the last, but I'm in that doghouse again.

Major Briggs: Any time a man dies in war, he dies too soon.

Albert Rosenfield: Sounds like you've been snacking on some of the local mushrooms.

Albert Rosenfield: I do not suffer fools gladly, and fools with badges never. I want no interference from this hulking boob. Is that clear?

Albert Rosenfield: Oh, Coop, uh, about the uniform... replacing the quiet elegance of the dark suit and tie with the casual indifference of these muted earth tones is a form of fashion suicide, but, uh, call me crazy - on you it works.

[looking at the dead body of Bernard Renault]
Ben Horne: And do we know if the late Bernard gave you up?
Leo Johnson: I told him that if he ever did, I'd kill him.
Ben Horne: Well, did he?
Leo Johnson: No, but he shouldn't have trusted me. Like I said, Bernie wasn't too bright.